everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
