youre lurking in front of me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
And then he peed in my hair
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