oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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