Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
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It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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