Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
