just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My penis needs a shock collar
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
