Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
