last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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