I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
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My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
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And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
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