Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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