We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize