I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
