It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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