Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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