just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
