You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
