so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
