I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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