I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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