I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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