remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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