Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
