You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
