You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
