his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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