So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
