when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
