great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize