Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
