Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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