Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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