I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
