I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
