i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
