sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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