he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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