:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
