are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish i was in the wii world.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
