she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.