I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
love makes seman taste better
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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