i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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