Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
