why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
