im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
