You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
