Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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