Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
