living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
