id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
