first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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