This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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