Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Randomize
