I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
