Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
