I must be too annoying 4 u.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
