try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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