Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Vodka?
Forever.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
