I smell stomach acid.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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