wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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