all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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